New Year's Eve

"My favorite movie is Home Alone. I really enjoyed it. I'm alone on Christmas, but that movie is my girlfriend." - HG

A first-year student's quip during a conversation class a few weeks ago. You all know by now that Korea is all about the couples on Christmas. How about on New Year's Eve? I couldn't tell you, actually. But my company tonight is a big bowl of ramen and the last of my personal statements and sample research proposals for my graduate school applications. I'm trying to see if I can finish them before the end of the year... Oh, who am I kidding. I'm trying to see if I can finish them before the end of the day on January first, as they are due on the second.

I've never held much appreciation for the festivities that surround the New Year. For me, it's supposed to be another excuse to spend time with my family. Without them, I see no reason to treat tonight differently from any other night. Work, then a TV break, followed by more work, and when the clock strikes midnight I'll go to sleep.

Goodbye, 2013! See you soon, 2014! And please be warmer.

[edit] Awww, heck, why not. This year-end survey is from Sam Morrow.

1: what did you do this year that you've never done before?
Ice fishing, night skiing, and silkworm eating, to name a few. I began seriously training in martial arts and won a medal, touched a human brain, celebrated a Jewish passover Seder,  went to a Korean baseball game, visited Jeju Island (and many other new places in Korea), marched in a pride parade, saw South Dakota, moved into my own apartment, ran a 5k, and spent Christmas away from home.
2: did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any resolutions. Next year, I resolve to obtain my black belt in taekgyeon, read my Bible regularly, and be the best teacher I can be for one more semester.
3: did anyone close to you give birth?
Hm... maybe? Not that I recall, though my memory about these things is very poor.
4: did anyone close to you die?
My Ga-jiu A-kong; he was 92. Also, one of my students.
5: what countries did you visit?
Lived in Korea, visited Taiwan twice and the US twice.
6: what would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
A graduate school acceptance letter.
7: what dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don't remember dates.
8: what was your biggest achievement of the year?
One-year milestone of teaching in Korea!
9: what was your biggest failure?
Tough question... I have not yet hiked up any of Korea's famous mountains, even though I kept saying I would.
10: did you suffer illness or injury?
I got the flu and food poisoning a few times this year. Also, crazy tonsilloliths.
11: what was the best thing you bought?
Fuzzy slippers and a space heater for my apartment.
12: whose behaviour merited celebration?
Everyone who made a stranger's life better!
13: whose behaviour made you appalled?
Who am I to judge?
14: where did most of your money go?
Travel and transportation. Plane tickets... seriously.
15: what did you get really, really, really excited about?
Irene and Dan's wedding! Wes and Hana's wedding! (Side note: Facebook's "photos I have liked" search function is making me really happy right now.) Hm... also, Pokemon X & Y, educational theory, baking, books, and AcousticHolic!
16: what song will always remind you of 2013?
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, "Can't Hold Us". Or anything by Pentatonix!
17: compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
Happier, always. Thinner a bit. And... I've been saving up for this winter break, so richer, but not for long.
18: what do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercise, study Korean, go to church, travel and see friends, read, blog, photograph beautiful things.
19: what do you wish you’d done less of?
Internet.
20: how did you spend christmas?
솔크.
21: did you fall in love in 2013?
With all of my wonderful students!
22: what was your favourite tv program?
Parks and Recreation! No -- ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT SEASON 4
23: do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope!
24: what was the best book you read?
World War Z by Max Brooks or Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell.
25: what was your greatest musical discovery?
Sungha Jung! Roy Kim! No -- ACOUSTICHOLIC!
26: what did you want and get?
Direction in life.
27: what did you want and not get?
My admissions letter to Hogwarts.
28: what was your favourite film of this year?
Cloud Atlas (I watched it in January in Korea) and, unfortunately, This Is the End. Ooh, also The Great Gatsby.
29: what one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Friends.
30: how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
Teacher clothes.
31: what kept you sane?
See #29.
32: which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don't know, and also this survey is getting long and boring.
33: what political issue stirred you the most?
Marriage equality!
34: whom did you miss?
See #29.
35: tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.
Don't judge others for being different, leading a different life, having different skills, seeking different goals. Our differences should make us appreciate each other more.
36: quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"If we hold on, and though we carry scars, God is with us marching through the dark." - "Fools Marching" by Tim Be Told

Happy New Year!

Last Day of School: 2013 Retrospection

On the last day of school, I am sitting at my desk, drinking Korean instant coffee and reading news stories and my friends' blogs. Students are running around the halls outside, screaming and yelling their goodbyes at each other. In a few minutes, the closing ceremony will be held, and winter vacation will begin.

First stop is a buffet lunch downtown with the school faculty, and then I'm off to visit a friends in Iksan and Seoul. When I return from my first solo trip out of town in six weeks (I haven't seen any of my Fulbright friends in person since our Thanksgiving dinner), a stack of books several feet high will be waiting for me! So will my last two graduate school applications, preliminary planning for my spring semester research project, and, hopefully, seasons four through six of Parks and Recreation.

While I'm looking forward to staying busy and productive over the break, it's been oddly peaceful at school this past week. Actually, all of December was kind of a breeze. I've spent this month administering speaking tests, throwing class parties, and deskwarming; during final exams last week, I chilled in my office planning my vacation travels. Since Monday, I have prepared for six classes but only seen two (and one of them was a movie party) due to scheduling changes, Christmas, and the school festival throwing everything into chaos. Chaos for the administration, I mean. For me, it just means a lot of down time.

I've spent some of that time comparing where I am now to where I was one year ago. In 2012, went home for Christmas and didn't attend the school festival. The apocalypse came and went; I did not have any concrete plans for the future; my grandfather was alive and kicking. This year, I attended my grandfather's funeral. I have spent the past two months applying to grad school (and the past six worrying about it). The Earth continued to revolve around the sun even as disaster, tragedy, and war deepened its fissures. And I now have over one full year of teaching experience at Changwon Science High School. 117 students I have taught for three semesters will graduate and go to college next March; 82 new freshmen will arrive to take their place.

It only took me a few months last autumn to fall in love with my school and my students. So, one year later, I have a richer understanding of gratitude toward this small community. Of course, this understanding comes hand-in-hand with the end of the honeymoon period. There have been times when I've witnessed firsthand how ridiculous school politics can be, seen the stress of an intense and merciless curriculum take its toll on these teenagers, been hurt by linguistic and cultural misunderstandings.

But, when all is said and done, I have had an eye-opening and life-fulfilling experience here. At this moment in my life, there is nothing I would rather be doing. Yesterday's school festival was one example of the small joys that make being here worthwhile, even worth missing Christmas with my family. I'll write about it in more detail later, but suffice it to say that I'm happy in the here and now. I welcome winter vacation with as much gusto as the next teacher; however, for reasons including but not limited to I'm tired of cold weather already, next March couldn't come sooner!

Final

Feeling nostalgic... and thus in the mood for odd Photoshop filters. This is a bunch of photos with Fulbright friends overlay-ed on a sunset view of Seoul from the 31st floor of the Hotel President.

Final exams (학기말시험) begin tomorrow at my school. What this means for me is four days of no classes and plenty of time to get other work done. Or, it could mean four days of deep reflection and looking back on one year in Korea with Fulbright.

This past weekend, the 2012-2013 Fulbrighters had a last hurrah in Seoul: our Final Dinner. Held just two weeks before the grant year concludes and two-thirds of us return to the United States, it was the designated time for us to spend quality time together, say our goodbyes, and, of course, take care of last-minute administrivia. But it was mostly about the goodbyes.

Now, I'm not a terribly emotional person. I don't cry over goodbyes. After commencement last year -- after the culminating finale of a truly life-changing and unforgettable college career -- I had to throw all my stuff into the trunk and hightail it off campus with my family. I barely saw anyone, and I didn't even have time to shed a tear. This year, the Fulbright Final Dinner felt like its own sort of graduation ceremony. We had no robes, but dang, everyone looked sharp; no diplomas, but many people won awards. We even had a "commencement speaker", the ever-inspiring Sam Morrow, and slideshows of smile-filled photos set to really great music.

There were also reports from the amazing projects my fellow grantees had done over the year, which were inspiring and impressive. Fulbright is not just about standing at the front of the classroom to which you're assigned; we began cooking clubs, hosted language exchanges, held sports events for underprivileged students, sent pen pal letters around the world, and founded nonprofit educational organizations. (By "we" I mean "they", my colleagues who are much more proactive than I.) In addition, the hardworking staff of Fulbright Infusion, our six-year-old literary magazine, presented this year's beautiful issue.

What with all these speeches, presentations, and formal niceties, I realized long before the evening was over that I wasn't actually being given much time to interact with the hundred friends with whom I'd gathered. Not even the ones sitting at my table eating delicious catered food with me. (Dining chatter was interrupted by a program of very nice and nostalgia-inducing performances by ETAs, including myself and Katelyn.) And then, we were finished, and it was time to take photos and hustle out of the hotel.

It didn't feel very final, because, once again, I was just being rushed from one place to another, and the whirlwind of quick goodbyes and random promises to "meet up again soon" wasn't cutting it for (what I realized with some surprise was) a strong desire to "end things" properly, with the right amounts of gratitude, humor, and hope.

I suppose that that's just the way things had to happen, though, and at the very least, I'm glad I got the photos. The rest of the weekend was filled to bursting with great moments with these same friends -- I'll write about them presently -- and perhaps even more pleasant than the classy affair were these absolutely normal hours spent eating, talking, and not being even remotely sad.

Now that I'm back in Changwon for a solid two weeks -- and I am quite sure I won't see any Fulbrighters for that duration -- I'm looking at a good amount of time for retrospection. I'll be filling out evaluation surveys and thinking back upon what, if anything, I've accomplished since July 2012. No doubt the weight of the realization that I won't see many wonderful friends for a long, long while will too find time to settle into my heart and grip it with nostalgia or melancholy. I guess I ought to welcome it, because a new chapter is about to begin, and since I'm not the one turning the page, resistance to it might be painful. Plus, it's better to read slowly but savor every memory than to skim through your emotions and only pick out the parts you enjoy.

Okay, I've got to end this post before the metaphor becomes any more overextended. Goodbye, Fulbright 친구들! In the wise words of Ammy Yuan, "I'll see you when I see you."